A Painful Lesson And Raw Truth

by | 4 Apr 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

I have been wanting to release and talk to this topic for quite some time, but i wanted to wait till 
A) I was less emotionally charged and 
B) I had gathered some personal wisdom and insight on this.
 
I put out a FB post regarding a personal feminine wound a while back. This was a genuinely vulnerable post for me to share & judging by some of the reactions (not responses) that I received as a result of this it became apparent that some people completely misinterpreted the intention of why I posted this in the first place.
 
Now, I could totally get into the narrative of this and try & justify what I wrote & the energy behind it but what I am about to say is of more value to me.
 
The hatred, shaming, bullying & be-ration that I got smashed with (by some) was a potent lesson for me, illuminating the projected and controversial perceptions of me conveying my raw soul truths.
 
This created an ongoing hateful debate.  As a result of this, I came to realise that I was allowing these other peoples judgements, opinions & accusations totally affect me & drain my energy.
 
In this world of technology and cyberbullying it is easy to hide behind a screen and throw hateful words to another human being.  So how do we deal with this faceless hate, that can at times feel like energetic daggers penetrating you? In short, we cant. We can not control others. We can, however, control our responses to them.
 
It took quite some time for me to process all of that hate & yes it was fucking hard. I battled with myself internally & felt into the pain & anger.
 
I had to hold myself (thank you inner masculine) & remember that when I posted this, I felt so fucking empowered & my intention was LOVE.
 
It was to give permission for others to display raw vulnerability & display my process for working through this particular trigger.
I forgave, myself & all involved.
 

My Insights

 

We are all human. This means we are open to experience a full range of emotions at any given time. 

 
We are all affected & triggered by past events especially when those past events have caused intense trauma and instigated an automated nervous system response.
 
It’s very easy to advise others to get over it & to keep their opinions to themselves, it is not, however , in my humble opinion conducive to healing on any level.
 
I will speak my truth, for that is all i have. Freedom, sovereignty & heart- centred relating.
 

“Truth shared empowers common unity, shaming truth is toxic to common unity. shaming to not share truth is oppressive and counter-intuitive to growth and connection. “ -Klaya Sslaya

 
The truth is the human heart longs for honest connection. My deepest desire is to inspire others to find strength in vulnerability and encourage healthy processing.
 
As women involved in the transformational and healing space, guardians of the underworld, we are mostly aware that the sisterhood wounds run deep. Wounds ancient and toxic, ruled by competition, judgement and comparison.
 

Everytime a sister shares a truth despite all forces working to silence her, we grow as a species, we grow as a community, we are united by our stories.” – Klaya Sslaya

 
We, as the beautiful imperfectly, perfect humans that we are, can only operate at the level that we know.
We will always react from our own lens, filters & past experiences, myself included.
 
However, this can be dangerous and magnified, especially when we have a limited version of someone else’s story which then merges with our own triggers.
 
In essence, what this can look like is assumptions & projected stories, that are not in any way factual.
 
One way we can overcome this is by asking ourselves the following questions, before responding in a negative fashion towards another.
 
T – is it True?
H – is it Helpful?
I – is it Inspiring?
N – is it Necessary?
K – is it Kind?
 
There is no blame here whatsoever ever. When I stated the way I was feeling within that post (abandoned, rejected etc) I was not saying that someone has caused me to feel this. I was just stating what that experience had triggered inside of my body. These emotions are mine and I take full responsibility for them.
 
The raw primal truth here is that during the ritual that I created to move through the trigger, I experienced the full spectrum mainly rage which transformed to grief which transformed to LOVE.
 
This is my soul’s purpose. To empower others to have the freedom & courage to speak there stories in a safe space. Whether a lover, a friend or as a coach.
 
My rawest expression is part of that purpose
 
How can I be an open channel for source to flow through me & transmute any dross if I silence my pain, stories and discard my emotions.
 
If we keep them unexpressed and repressed they become stuck & stagnant and manifest into physical, mental or emotional pain.
 
I now recognise that I have a conscious choice too:
 
Delete & block those people who are clearly not understanding the nature of my work. And that is OK.
 
I have the right to choose what goes into it, for the sake of self-preservation.
 

The Lesson:

 
I believe its time to call back our wisdom and our voice.
To embody our power and give a platform for others to feel safe to do the same.
If we dilute this to risk offending others we are lying to ourselves.
 
As i rise up. I give permission for other sisters to rise with me.
 
Those who are not on the same frequency will simply fade away, one way or another.
 
I stand in the knowing that putting myself out there publicly in my vulnerability is fucking scary. People will always judge.
 
I have 2 choices. LOVE or FEAR
 
I choose love
 
I choose love every time
 
If I continue to let other peoples opinions reflect my own self-worth and attach that to my identity then I will always be in a losing battle.
 
If I allow there fear, disdain & projection to shut me down & prevent me from forging my own path, then I am not free. I am a slave to other people judgements, GOOD or BAD
 
Let it all be background noise.
 
Let the voice that bellows from deep within me guide me home.
 
P.s if my words and posts do not resonate with you, please delete me. It‘s really simple
 
Love is the glue that holds us all together.

If you feel you need any guidance towards your sovereignty, inner confidence and sharing your truth then I offer 1 hr coaching services that can address any of the above.