Self Love And Self Care Are Not The Same.

by | 22 May 2019 | Love, Relationships | 0 comments

When most of us think of self-love we imagine hot running baths with rose petals, regular exercise and eating a clean diet.

What if we were to change the preconditioned view that self-care was solely external and developed a more holistic and balanced approach.
It is my personal belief that self-love can be divided into a few different categories of our life:


1. Emotional expression:

Do you give yourself permission for your full emotional expression and range?

👉Do you take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions?

👉Do you forgive yourself on a daily basis for not feeling good enough?

👉Do you feel gratitude for the life that you have created?

Do you investigate your emotional triggers, seeing them as an opportunity to deeply understand yourself?

In a Paradigm where the so-called negative end of the emotional spectrum has frowned upon we are expected to hold it all together and suck it up.

This is especially so in the workplace where most people have learned to operate form an unemotional place. This kind of emotional shaming does not give much of a voice to women’s everchanging cycles, regardless of whether they are bleeding, ovulating or feeling emotionally suppressed.

It is easy to de-prioritise this type of self-love, in favour of nurturing our physical body. However, focusing on allowing our full range of emotional expression in our daily lives can make a profound difference.

2. Social interaction:

How often do you?

Spend quality time people on a similar path to you. Wherever you feel free to express your full self.

Enjoy other peoples company in a truly nurturing way. The serious, the fun, the silly, the heart opening and the painful experiences.

Give yourself the time to celebrate the small and large achievements in life with your loved ones.

Meet up with friends and family to embrace the external things that nourish you and bring you joy, be it food, dancing, entertainment.

I have found that his kind of connection is critical to inner fulfilment. Regardless of how the other areas of my life are looking, I know that sisterhood, deep friendship and family always bring me fulness.

3. Sovereign self-love

✍️Do you allow yourself time and space to rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit?

✍️Do you allow yourself rest time during the day

✍️Do you have a spiritual practice such as mindfulness, meditation, yoga or anything that grounds and centres you?

✍️Do you enjoy time alone, reading books? spending time in nature?

✍️Can you sit with yourself peacefully and revel in the beauty and peace of the inner you?

We live in a society that glorifies and that values productivity over rest, rejuvenation and being.

Most of us are not willing to really feel the pain, hate or anger that we feel towards our body, yet when we allow ourselves to immerse ourselves into this pain & shame experiencing these stories and beliefs we have created we then have full acceptance of the now.

With this full acceptance, we can make a choice to move forward and make changes from a place of punishment and liberation or inspiration and compassionate motivation.
Id love to know your thoughts to any of these questions- What are your go-to practices?

It is my personal view that our body is our ally. If there are signs of disease & ailments it is generally pointing to the fact that there is a misalignment in our lives.

How can we call upon our highest selves and call in LOVE, how can we have fierce compassion for where we are at knowing that if we listen to our bodies deeply she will give us the answer we seek.

4.Physical movement

How often do you…

✍️Move your body in ways that bring you immense pleasure

✍️Engage in sensual practices like womb massage, yoni steams and breast massages?

✍️Speak positive affirmations and gratitude for your body temple?

✍️Push your body through physical exercise and free flow movement?

Most humans live disconnected from their bodies and predominately live in their heads. This kind of physical self-care grounds in our body and helps to remind us that we are alive.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between perceived threats and real threats.

Is your inner voice joyful and loving? Or harsh and critical. Where our mind goes energy flow and if we speak lovingly to our bodies they respond so well and we change our reality.

How can you incorporate some of these practices each week to keep your body vibrant, turned on, and connected?

5. Sexual self-pleasure

This can be a challenging one. Especially in a society that still shames our sexual expression. It is still incredibly taboo.

“Sexual self-care goes to the heart of all the other self-care because our sexual selves are core to who we are”. Layla Martin.

We receive Diff media msgs from girl to womanhood about how our bodies should look, as a result, many of us battle with self-doubt, insecurities and unworthiness at some point in our lives.

As a consequence we abandon our aliveness, our sexuality, and our playfulness because of the way we look, often feeling that we don’t deserve pleasure.

💖Some tips on how to increase pleasure💖

✍️Cultivate curiosity – Playing with the full sexual range instead of following the same patterns that you have always known. From light to dark. Firm to a soft touch. Creating new neural pathways to retrain your brain and discover really turns you on.

✍️Orgasmic brainwashing – Positive affirmations and manifestations whilst in a high vibrational state can cage your whole inner terrain. It allows you to be a vibrational match to your desires through self-sourcing and pleasure

✍️Re-sensitisation – You can retrain your self to feel deeply & resensitize during pleasure. Its a skill of less. A subtle coming home to remembering the raw sensation that already exists when you become present and shut out the external noise.

✍️Spend time in a supportive community – where your sexiness, femininity and sisterhood is embraced.

Fostering a self-sex practice with yourself is a potent and fundamental piece of your spiritual awakening journey. There are diamond keys and codes within embodied sexual devotion that can illuminate enlightenment creativity, and remove mental blocks that are in your way of being the woman you desire to be.

Download your Free womb meditation

I teach women (and menstruators) how to harness the power of their natural rhythms and create a connected and compassionate relationship to their inner world.